Gay relationship abuse
Self-help guide for GBT men using abusive behaviours in intimate relationships
Who is this self-help guide for?
This self-help guide is for men who have used abusive, violent, or controlling behaviours in their intimate relationships with men; this includes gay men, bi-curious men, trans men or straight men who have occasional sex with other men and desire help to change.
We know it can be tough facing up to complicated problems and if you’re reading this, it probably means you have some concerns about your behaviour.
We want to support you to get help and make the changes you need, so that you are safer around your partner and children (if you own or care for them).
Throughout this manual, we use the term ‘partner’. For those that contain been abusive in the past, significant other (in this guide) can also point to to ex-partners of either gender.
When you read this self-help guide, we motivate you to reflect hard and encounter up honestly to the things you have done. You might have done something only once or twice, but in many cases, you’ll notice that there is a pattern and an intent to the abusive things you do. By recognising your patterns of abusive and controlling behaviours, it will hopeful
eLaw Journal: Murdoch University Electronic Journal of Law
The Second Closet: National Violence in Lesbian and Queer Relationships: A Western Australian Perspective
| Author: | Lee Vickers |
| Issue: | Volume 3, Number 4 (December 1996) |
In February 1994, Robert McEwan was arrested in Perth, Western Australia, and charged with the wilful murder of his homosexual partner of fourteen years. McEwan's partner died from multiple stab wounds. McEwan pleaded not culpable, basing his defence on th e "battered wife syndrome" and provocation.
McEwan claimed that he had been "dominated and abused physically, sexually, and emotionally" by his partner for several years.[1] The jury was unable to reach a verdict and the matter was referred back to the Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) who, in February 1996, decided not to proceed with the wilful murder charge. The DPP accepted the defences as pleaded and a plea of guilty to the lesser accuse of manslaughter was recorded.[2] The case is belie ved to be the first in Australia to successfully rely on the "battered wife (spouse) syndrome" in a same sex relationship. Whilst media attention on the case has foc
Is violence more common in same-sex relationships?
"There are external stressors, like discrimination and violence against gays, and there are internal stressors, such as internalised negative attitudes about homosexuality."
The external stresses on a gay relationship include what Carroll describes as the "double closet phenomenon" when victims are reluctant to describe abuse because they perform not want to be outed to the authorities.
But it is the internal stress, says Carroll, which can be particularly damaging.
"Sometimes homosexual individuals project their negative beliefs and feelings about themselves on to their partner," he says.
"Conversely, we believe that victims of domestic violence in same-sex couples believe, at some level, they be entitled to the violence because of internalised negative beliefs about themselves."
This is how Rogers felt after his experience.
For years, before the murder threat, he blamed his partner's violence on himself, attending a series of self-help groups to attempt to improve the partnership by becoming a superior person.
But when he did finally accept he was being abused, he establish it difficult to re
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