Beyond ex gay
We have begun to implement strategies to let others understand the realities and damaging effects of ex-gay and religious maltreatment. We need your help to execute this. We previously launched a survey to gather data on people who have been committed in sexual orientation change efforts (SOCE), and we hold just released the preliminary results. The survey is still open and we'd like to listen from as many people as achievable. Your voice counts!
Beyond Ex-Gayis an online community and resource for those of us who possess survived ex-gay experiences. So often healing comes through collective and through sharing our stories and experiences with each other.
Our kinship in this journey gives us the opportunity to hear each other deeply, particularly in a planet that sometimes scoffs at the many things we acquire done to convert or contain our same-sex attractions and gender differences. Many of us hold found healing, wholeness and understanding through facing our pasts.
This is your room to connect with other survivors, peruse survivor narratives and to share your own.
We believe that ex-gay experiences bring about more harm than good. Certain p
Beyond Ex-Gay is a community for survivors of any form of “sexual orientation change efforts” (SOCE), more commonly known as ex-gay therapy. Recently, they conducted a survey of the survivor group to gather some information about why people tried to alter their sexuality and what they experienced, and the answers are revealing. Obviously this sample is biased because it’s all people who abandoned ex-gay therapy, but nonetheless, here are the stories of over 400 people who tried to “pray away the gay” — and failed.
Where Do “Unwanted Lgbtq+ Attractions” Come From?
Those who justify SOCE often claim that people who have “unwanted same-sex attractions” should have the right to pursue therapy to change those attractions. The use of that language — “attractions” instead of “orientation” — disguises the principle as something seemingly less eternal that truly can be changed. All major professional psychologists and psychiatrists recommend affirming whatever a person’s orientation is, and it’s telling that SOCE advocates never add
By Greg Johnson. This blog post is adapted from Greg’s forthcoming book Still Time to Care: What We Can Learn from the Church’s Failed Endeavor to Cure Homosexuality (Zondervan, 2021). www.StillTimeToCare.com
It was the question I dreaded most. I sat in the university medical center that day in 1997 and stared at the manuscript. I was filling out a medical questionnaire for a new doctor. I got to the scrutinize about my sexual orientation. There were three boxes. Heterosexual. Homosexual. Bisexual. I struggled with how to answer the question.
After staring at the boxes for thirty minutes, I checked the heterosexual box.
No, I was not closeted. I was ex-gay.
With 700,000 others in the United States, I was claiming my new reality.
But it didn’t sit well with me. Who was I kidding? Had I just lied to my doctor? Did Jesus really want me lying to my doctor? Was that how Jesus would make me straight? Was this faith, or was it deception?
At the heart of the ex-gay movement was the ex-gay script. And while the movement itself officially died with the closure of Exodus International in 2013, the movement still walks undead in the build of the ex-gay script. Though a relic of conversion
Spiritual Friendship
In my previous piece, I described my experience trying to change my orientation. As promised, in this announce I will talk about some practical insights, many of which extend beyond the ex-gay context in which I learned them.
The most immediate insight is directly about sexual orientation change efforts: transform in orientation is not something we should promise. Desire in orientation modify can be inaccurate hope. This is true even for someone who is willing to place great effort into trying to grow straight and, more importantly, dealing with the sorts of issues often claimed to be behind a homosexual or bisexual orientation. It is important that we be honest.
Putting my hope into orientation change had less fallout for me than it had for many others. As a man who was already attracted to women, changing my orientation was never quite about existence able to function in a marriage. Remaining attracted to the same sex did not hold any particular implication about celibacy; it merely meant that I could not be as normal as I wanted and that I would face negative attitudes from some conservative Christians. I was able to come to an acceptance of this reality. However, othe